Voting is part of history, now, true. But body autonomy is still hotly contested, and #MeToo showed us recently how many women fear speaking up directly in defense of the abuse they’ve faced.

I feel like there’s work on both sides. Absolutely the amount of domestic violence in which men are the victims is understated. But, to me, the key isn’t dismissing what is being said. It’s listening and letting it come out, hearing the pain under the anger.

Barring abusive childhoods, nobody chooses violence as a first resort. It happens when we stop listening. Sometimes we don’t want to hear what’s being said, because it means changing our views, our self-perception.

Our challenge is to keep listening.